Forgiveness is probably one of the hardest things you will learn to do but it is also the most rewarding. Back in the day I used to hold grudges against everyone who did me wrong and every time I saw them I would feel anger. I wanted to get revenge and hurt them as much as they hurt me but what I didn’t realise back then was that feeling this way wasn’t hurting them at all, it was just eating me up inside and making me bitter, unhappy and turning me into somebody that wasn’t me.
I discovered forgiveness fully when I got deep into mindfulness and spirituality, I realised that forgiving people didn’t mean that their actions were acceptable and instead it released me of the anger and the resentment I held inside. I found myself trying to understand the reasons why people had behaved the way they did towards me in the past and I could see that it wasn’t because I was a horrible person, or because I deserved it. The reason people had treated me so badly was because they were unhappy and in some cases, selfish! But I had allowed them to behave selfishly towards me, which brings me to the next part…
Not only do you have to forgive others, you also have to forgive yourself! If you have allowed people to treat you badly and you’re feeling guilty or angry for doing so then forgive yourself – you are not to blame and you can move forward. If you have treated other people badly in the past, again, forgive yourself, you are only human and you are not that person anymore. It is never too late to change and to start again, it is also never too late to say sorry. You will instantly know when you have forgiven someone because you will no longer have that knot in your stomach and you will no longer criticise them or hold any negative emotions towards them.
Life is too short and too unpredictable to hold hate in your heart, nothing good ever comes from holding on to anger, guilt or resentment so give yourself permission to forgive.