If you have read my previous blog posts then you will know that I used to suffer badly with anxiety, like really badly! However, after fixing my hormonal imbalances, seeing a herbalist and working on mindfulness I haven’t had an anxiety attack for a good few years now (aside from when I’m travelling or my Emetophobia kicks in) that was, until this week!
I am someone who used to get anxious about absolutely everything… Going to School, Travelling, (even on a bus!) going to work, going on dates, going out to restaurants, going to parties, speaking on a radio station, performing on stage, talking in front of people… you name it, it would make me anxious! I also used to worry very much about the future and ‘what ifs’ and if I didn’t have a plan or have control of a situation then it would bring on anxiety.
I have come a very long way with my anxiety, however this year I told myself that I would say yes to things, even if they made me really anxious! This has led to me doing ALOT of things outside of my comfort zone since January and I think this week it all just got on top of me. I won’t go into every detail as some things I cannot reveal yet but I have taken more risks, spent more money, done lots of networking, shared some personal things, been interviewed for magazines, been featured in the press, worked HARD on growing both of my businesses, had a huge opportunity come my way as well as some life changes. For someone who is sensitive to change and anxiety I definitely think I did too much, too soon and so this week I had a HUGE anxiety attack which involved me constantly throwing up, feeling dizzy and faint, crying, not being able to breathe, getting heart palpitations and chest pain and I haven’t had as much of an appetite ever since!
I haven’t had an anxiety attack like this for around 3/4 years and I certainly don’t miss them! Anxiety attacks are exhausting and make you feel like you’re dying but I am slowly getting back to my regular self and hopefully next week I will be much better. My coping mechanisms this time around involved talking to the people close to me, doing some breathing exercises, listening to teachings and affirmations, praying, taking it easy and telling myself ‘this won’t last, it is temporary’ and ‘if you have an attack then so what?!’ I used to care so much about being an inconvenience to other people, having them judge me and feeling like I had to hide my anxiety. Nowadays I really don’t care if I am judged for anxiety and I will openly speak about it, because someone who judges me for having anxiety is not somebody I want to be associated with anyway.
Most Anxiety sufferers will know that although we can get rid of anxiety for days, months, or even years, we are still prone to getting them and they can still come back sometimes, the key is to take small steps to help yourself and to not let it define you or stop you. When Anxiety rears it’s ugly head and makes me feel frustrated or like I’ve taken a step back, I remind myself of just how far I have come and each day I am getting better. I am yet to meet a single person that hasn’t suffered with anxiety or some other form of mental health so don’t ever feel like you are alone, or the only person struggling. In today’s social media world it can be very easy to tell yourself that everyone else is happy and doesn’t have any problems but this is simply not true! People share the things they want you to see on social media and this is another reason why I am trying to share these moments with you, so that you can see the reality and not just the highlight reel.